Vitamin P

Like all good children's entertainers I am a chronic insomniac, so much of my nights are spent knitting, reenacting the civil war and of course watching lots of late night infomercials.

One of my favorites is late night heath quack Dr. Syd. The good doctor has given us some real gems such as super green algae tooth paste and Scrub-O's the colon cleansing cereal. My little friend in the box is peddling a new health aid, vitamin P.

As Americans we have gotten so far from the land that we are forced to supplement the vitamin content of our food, pack ourselves in to gyms to simulate the labor we no longer do, we even buy light bulbs to replace the sunlight that we don't get enough of. So is it really a stretch to say we aren't getting enough bacteria in our diets? What better bacteria could there be than that found in the guts of those super digesters the New Guinea shrew. The New Guinea shrew will eat their body weight every day and yet never get fat. Amazing! You can drop pounds while watching Dr. Syd's infomercials from the comfort of your couch by simply ingesting shrew droppings. A better you with the power of poo!

Larry The Cable Guy Chocolates

Well Valentines is upon us and that can only mean one thing......

Yes you guessed it cheap waxy chocolates in a heart shaped box bearing the face of Americas favorite one joke comedian.
To me the tag line "Git-R-Done" in the context of Valentines conjures images of trailer park sex where phrases like "Daddy's home" and "pass the Cheetos, this gonna take a spell" serve as pillow talk and foreplay consists of unscrewing the Vaseline.

My little Valentine made a special trip to Walmart to ensure that we at Truly Awful could send you all a special Valentines greeting .

thank you Christy ....

I love you

and yes there is petroleum jelly in your future.

Pee & Poo Plush Toys

FINALLY!!!!!
Kids love plush toys and they love pee and poo..... like chocolate and peanut butter these two things where just destined to wind up in the same box (Oh shut it! You know what I mean.)
But it is so much more then just stuffed toys. The Pee & Poo line includes T-shirts, socks, key chains and of course underwear.
Hey folks Valentines day is coming and everyone knows red hearts are so passe. Why not let your sweetie know how you feel with a love poem scribbled under a stinky rainbow .
Do not believe for even one second that I think of Pee & Poo as awful! I adore them and you can rest assured that if I have anything to say about it all of my nieces and nephews will drift off to dream land with finger paint stained digits clasped firmly around the fuzzy waste product of their choice.

Explore the world of Pee and Poo for yourself and send a Pee and Poo e-card by visiting: www.peeandpoo.com

Raw Female

Robert Berry at Retrocrush.com found some Raw Female. Anyone have any good recipes! I've no idea how to cook this stuff. The Natural Foods Co-op where this chick is being sold also carries intelligence, patience, arousal, all in convenient pill form. Sheesh. Try a little skepticism ya new age freaks.

Cheeseburger In A Can

I found this via Liv Moe's blog. It is now my mission in life to have Brett eat one. The product is available from this German site and is apparently marketed for campers. Why do I get the feeling it doesn't come out of the can looking like the picture? Anybody speak German? I've got to find the contact information and get one sent to a certain garden gnome in Los Angeles.