Ed Harris Sings

The new Ed Harris directed Apaloosa misses. It isn't a truly awful movie its just not very good. But the song he wrote and recorded for the movie, my god, is it a hilariously bad stinker.
"Acting so darn loose, screwing who you want to, and beleiving your excuse...
but when the day does come when you and I depart, you'll be the one whose leaving 'cause you'll never leave my heart."
Wow. He should try professional wrestling next.

Bacon Is a Vegetable

I'm the only vegetarian in my workplace. As a result I'm offered hamburgers or fried chicken daily. Friends, I can assure you, on behalf of a all vegetarians everywhere; keep it up. That joke NEVER gets old. We may not laugh, not wanting to give you the satisfaction, but we're crackin' up on the inside, for real.

I came in the other day to find this sticker affixed to my desk. Okay, I will confess, this is funny. Especially with the smiling pig head for an O. A quick google search determined that this came from www.dieselsweeties.com and is available in a t-shirt. I may have to buy that t-shirt. Or, I may have to pretend it offends me so that some jerk buys it for me. Thanks jerks. :)

Armor of God PJs

I don't know what more I could say about these beautiful little crusaders?
I hope our lovely readers don't mind all the religious stuff lately, but with this election going on and Bill Maher's Religulous in theaters and wonderful things like the Armor Of God PJs out there how can we help ourselves?

Jihad This

My goodness, has it really been since April 1st that we posted? Damn, Brett really sucks.

We have to come back with something really strong of course which is why I was so glad when Heckasac posted this little number.

It says so much so simply. It is America summed up in one image and two words and stuck on a button. I love it.

I found it for sale at RepublicanMarket.com (of course I did) and I had no choice but to immediately order a gross.

Ah Holy War, aint it a kick in the pants? The first eagle's I saw after 9-11 were all shedding the singly glossy tear. Now they're done crying and they aint gonna take no more shit!

This lovely product reminds me of my childhood, when I could actually win a "Kill a Commie for your Mommy" painted mirror at the county fair, or at least most kids could. I was terrible at ALL fair games, even the easy ones with the shitty prizes that were put there to keep hope alive.

Another item that comes to mind is the great "Ayatollah is an Assahola" bumper stickers. My father, pinko liberal that he is, once asked our neighborhood Ice Cream man to reconsider whether that sticker really belonged on an ice cream truck next to the add for Push Up Pops.

Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)

Vitamin P

Like all good children's entertainers I am a chronic insomniac, so much of my nights are spent knitting, reenacting the civil war and of course watching lots of late night infomercials.

One of my favorites is late night heath quack Dr. Syd. The good doctor has given us some real gems such as super green algae tooth paste and Scrub-O's the colon cleansing cereal. My little friend in the box is peddling a new health aid, vitamin P.

As Americans we have gotten so far from the land that we are forced to supplement the vitamin content of our food, pack ourselves in to gyms to simulate the labor we no longer do, we even buy light bulbs to replace the sunlight that we don't get enough of. So is it really a stretch to say we aren't getting enough bacteria in our diets? What better bacteria could there be than that found in the guts of those super digesters the New Guinea shrew. The New Guinea shrew will eat their body weight every day and yet never get fat. Amazing! You can drop pounds while watching Dr. Syd's infomercials from the comfort of your couch by simply ingesting shrew droppings. A better you with the power of poo!