Thursday, September 13, 2007

Deep Fried Bull Balls

Roughly half way between Sacramento and Los Angeles is a place I and many others refer to as "Cowshawitz".

From the eastern side of the freeway stretches out an expanse of dark brush free earth, steal fences and thousands of head of cattle. The sight of these animals is enough to make even the most avid of meat eaters consider a salad for lunch.

The most striking thing about this stretch of the I-5 freeway is the smell. If you have traveled this sprawling interstate more then once you learn to roll up your windows and close your vents long before you reach Coalinga (the home of Cowshawitz).

Nestled in to the cloud of bovine fecal dust is the Harris Ranch Steak House, and where Keith and Bryna decided to stop on there most recent trip to the southland. Do they pick me up a fine cut of beef? Why no; They bring me a plastic container filled with deep fried bull testicals artfully laid out on a bed of lettuce.

For the record I had never envisioned putting testicals in my mouth for any reason other then ensuring my safety in lock up but in my mouth they went.
What do deep fried bull balls, aka Prarie Oysters, taste like? Well they taste like pretty much anything you deep fry.

Would I have them again? No not because eating genitals is disgusting but rather because to this day my girlfriend has a hard time kissing me.


Anonymous said...

I'm done with the bull balls, I've run out of ranch dip.
New awful=new party. Tit for tat, dear Keith, tit for tat.

KLJ said...

Okay, okay. I need to get some tat right quick because lord knows I love that other stuff.
I did just present Brett with a military MRE and a dear friend gifted me a light up choir boy that looks like a blow up doll (un-intentionally.)
So soon, sooooon.

Anonymous said...

Blow-up choir boy, like aren't they all?

Anonymous said...

Beef fries are what they're called in Kansas. Not bad, if you don't think about what they are while eating them.