Sexy Freddy

The Onion has a great graphic of The Top Halloween Costumes for women 18-34. Sexy French Maid, Sexy Cat, etc. Funny stuff and so spot on. When I saw the ad for a sexy Freddy costume I realized that real life is even more ridiculous than The Onion's parody. My god, it had to be a joke, right?

Nope. Further investigation revealed it to be true. As if anyone needed or wanted a sexed up Freddy. What's next, Sexy Garden Slug? This is NOT a case of two great tastes that taste great together.

I was messed up plenty by having to come to terms with Sexy Bugs Bunny when I was a kid. Yeah, that rabbit could be quite alluring in drag. What will happen to today's impressionable young minds when they have to confront a sexually appealing Freddy Krueger?

I immediately went about searching buycostumes.com to see what other ridiculousness I'd find there. (Yeah, I always have good "research" excuses when I'm looking at busty women in skimpy outfits online.)

I found sexy versions of children's fairy tails, sexy Indians (always modeled by Caucasian ladies) and sexy cop complimented by sexy corrupt cop. It's like the Onion gag was used as inspiration.

Now the only thing I want cruelly thrust into my already bizarre sexual ID less than Freddy Krueger is perhaps Bill Murray. But, there it is. The sexy Ghost Buster: NOOOOOO! Make it stop! And why is Nicole Richey modeling for a costume website? Has the pregnancy lowered her marketability that much?

Of course, the silver lining to this acid rain cloud is the fact that I can buy one of these little outfits for Brett and make him wear it.

Ah Halloween, you shall remain my favorite holiday after all.

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