Truly Awful Google Searches

The following are terms that, when googled, have landed people at our page...

monkey bar sex position (I like Monkeys. I like sex. This sounds win/win)
Why Mommy Is a Democrat
every sex position in the world (Every position?! Even Monkey Bar?)
clock penis ( we're #1 for Clock Penis)
sex position course (higher learning at it's highest?)
Sexual Positions pictures
sexual positions the game (beats pictionary hands down (and legs up, knees bent, wrists just so, back arched this way))
wishing well store (I doubt the store is very happy that we come up on the 1st Page)
wishing well stores, Sacramento (even further up on 1st page)
Testicals In Mouth (I was most surprised to discover that we’re number THREE for testicals in mouth!!)

Update October 17, 2007
awful hygiene India
awful sex gifts (Awful sex is the gift that keeps on giving)
penis clock (#2)
clock with penis hands (I should really see about going into the penis clock business)
sex position- dragon turn (Not in the book)

Update October 18, 2007
penis+alarm clock (Every day, some variation)
missionary sex position pictures (I hope they found what they were looking for on this here educational site)
testical toys (Wow, we're on the first page!)
sex position pyramid (We're #1 for Sex Position Pyramid!)
fried bull testicals (We're #1 for Fried Bull Testicals!)

Update October 22, 2007
sexual positions for older folks (I picture a cute old couple searching together on date night (much more fun than prune night). I sure hope they didn't attempt the pyramid)
putting testicals in ass (We're number one AND number two on this one. Um, I guess I'm proud)

Update October 23, 2007
kids cocktails (This may frighten me more than any other search)
sexy ghostbuster costume
sexy freddy costume (so glad we could be of service)
missionary versus rear entry position (in the battle of the century)
awful sex (that's my favorite kind too)
easy sexual positions (talk about lazy)

Update October 25, 2007
the awful penis (from a foreign language google site, foreign to me I mean)
pictures rabbit +testicals (actually a Yahoo search this time, I do hope they found what they found what they were needing)

Update October 26, 2007
buildings with sex position statues (I don't know either)
sex positions for shy people (This may be the custest of all the searches)
how to fuck up your testicals (I hope we were able to help)
sex positions on a bus (aka sex position for not shy people)
fellatio around the world (YAY)

Update October 27, 2007
testicals I heart you photo (???)
dog toy penis (don't encourage your dog to view that shape as good for chewing)
sex positions with people (yeah, I guess that is a good qualification)
unicorn sex position (YES!!!!)

Update November 2, 2007
peanut butter and testicals (we're #2, #1 is connectingsingles.com, what do you like on your toast?)
hillary Clinton Pezz Dispensor (you've got your testical in peanut butter, you've got your peanut butter on my testical... mmmmmm!)
space monkey sex position dolls (that just rules)
rope and teticals (So now it's this list of searches that's turning up in strange searches)
monkey statue penis (today is all about random combinations of words)
colonoscopy erotic (I've had one and erotic it was not)
dog scarf (not so strange but fun to say, dog scarf, yeah, I like that, I think I'll name my first kid that, Dog Scarf Jensen)