Monday, March 19, 2007

Anatomically Correct Pegacorns

The Ponies. Brett figured the game would end with this. He was sure I'd would crack at having to house this one, or at least that Bryna would make me quit.

Out drinkin' in LA, he went into the liquor store for one last round of bottles and there were the ponies on a shelf behind the register. Brett asked if they were for sale. Of course they weren't, I mean, who would part with such a beautiful item.
Two Unicorns, or Pegasuses, or, um, well they have wings and a horn, Pegacorns? ...anyway they're straddling a clock. One is female. How do we know? She has big pink wings. The other is male. How do we know? He has a big old horse penis! Yep, he's one impressively anatomically correct Pegacorn, and quite happy about it as you can see.

Brett knew he had to have it, or rather, he knew he had to have me have it, and so he offered to buy it several times, upping the price each time. He was obsessed. if the shopkeep had known how obsessed he'd have held out and gotten hundred for this work of art. Instead he took pity and let the weird little white boy have the clock for $20.

Brett was beaming with pride as he presented the Pegacorns to me. Bryna had had enough and was determined that this awful thing live at my work. I figured I could keep it at work for a bit and then sneak it home later. Brett was furious. Since his office is his apartment he can't keep things at work. I reminded him that he broke my unibrow, flowered, ceramic pig (story soon, I promise) and he mellowed out.

My office mates thought the piece quite awful so when ever one of them sneezed they got the Pegacorns on their desk. This was a fun game, with everyone trying not to sneeze and whoever had the Pegacorns listening at all times for somebody trying to sneeze on the low down. Several times I bolted out of the office to sneeze in the yard.

This went on until BoBo (not his real name), my boss let out a huge sneeze. The winged, horned beasts landed on his desk. And there they stayed, and stay still even as I type. BoBo called them his ponies and BoBo loves his ponies. BoBo's macho friends and associates come to meet with him and there, amidst his pictures of George W. Bush, sports memorbilia and a photo collage of past pet pit-bulls sit the ponies. For some reason BoBo felt the need to hide his face when I tried to photograph him with his ponies. (And after I posted this, BoBo insisted I not use his real name, even though there's a charictature of him clearly visible in the background.)

BoBo loves his ponies.

Horse people are bad, like golf people and dog people and angel people. So I'm sure we'll see more ponies, with or without wings and/or horns.

UPDATE: This post was linked at and someone wondered if Franklin Mint might be behind this beautiful item. Nope. The smal gold tag obscurred by BoBo's hand in the last picture reads "The Yanglin Collection." I do hope to have some Franklin Mint grace our collection soon.

UPDATE 2: Click here to read comments at another site that linked this page. I love that Laughing Squid and Ouchy led to us. We're indeed in good company.

1 comment:

Brett said...

Now now Keith this beauty was in fact purchased at last call and I was in fact quite drunk at the time. However we didn’t go to the liquor with the intent of buying more booze, like any one who works with children I keep a well stocked bar at home. We staggered in with the intent of buying the ponies. I had spotted them a few days before while getting Gatorade for dodge-ball and felt a purchase of this magnitude was best made in a long line at 1:55 am while surrounded by strangers with arm loads of booze.