Friday, April 6, 2007

The Easter Bunny's Headstone

Easter Bunny, RIP.

What genius came up with this "Lawn ornament?" It's straight out of that legendary, lost holiday special Tim Burton's "Nightmare Before Easter." It is unmistakably, undeniably the Easter Bunny's Headstone. And I can't imagine they were thinking anything else when they chose to make it all one color like this, never mind the morose look on the grieving little bunny's face. What is even the slightest bit festive about this thing?

We're doing our best to keep this blog accessible to everyone, despite the fact that we're such unsavory types ourselves. With that effort in mind we'll let you decide if you want to see a rather graphic depiction of how the Easter Bunny met his demise. Click Here if you want to see it, but remember we warned you.

And for you of more delicate tastes, a dumb joke, a REALLY dumb joke:

A man was driving down the road when out of nowhere hops a huge bunny. WHAM! He hits the rabbit. Jumping out his car he realizes to his horror that he's killed the Easter Bunny. There are chocolate eggs, and plastic grass and Peeps(c) everywhere. "OH MY GOD!" he screams.

A passing jogger stops and calms him. She pulls a small bottle out of her purse and begins pouring it's contents on the dead rabbit who springs back to life, gathers up his spilled goodies and hops away. After just a few hops he turns and waves. A few more hops and he waves again. He continues this hopping, waving, hopping, waving as he disappears over the horizon.

The relieved motorist looks around and finds the jogger has left but there on the ground is her bottle; "Shampoo; Brings dead hair back to life and adds permanent wave."

I told you it was dumb. What? You thought I was kidding?

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