Shopping for Brett's birthday is fun.
I'd already gotten him a framed autographed picture of my colon, but Bryna and I wanted to let him know just how special he really is to us.
Macy's is right by Bryna's work and I was getting tired of the thrift store variety of awful that is our specialty. We found awful a-plenty at the old Macy's and finding it at an overpriced shop makes it even better (so long as you score it on super clearance.)
What you're looking at here is a t-shirt. The round center graphic is printed on a disc of plastic. It's holographic.
Look at it from one angle and it's a chubby cheeked little gangster guy, although he looks to me more like a gang's mascot. I think the real gangsters do whatever illicit gang type activities there doing and this fella runs back and forth between them and whatever onlooker are around, soliciting cheers and getting people to do the wave. At any rate, he appears to be cradling the city's buildings lovingly, parentally in his arms (perhaps he's a model railroad enthusiast?)
But, catch it from another angle, and VOILA, he's now holding big bundles of cash money.
I'm pretty sure real gangsters don't wear t-shirts with picture of gangsters on 'em. It's like the cheap-plastic-mask Halloween costumes we had as kids. They had to put a picture of Chewebacca on it so that it was clear you were supposed to be Chewebacca. "Look I'm a gangster, SEE, a gangster."
I don't even think the posers would be lining up to sport this monstrosity, which explains why we found it on the clearance rack. Of course even at 50% off it was STILL $14, but it IS Brett's birthday, and I do want to see him wear this, so it's on its way to LA. Happy birthday buddy.
THE RUNNER UPS.
Also at Macy's, a pair of $50 shorts, CUT OFFS! Cargo pants cut offs even. And by cut off I mean threads hanging from the sloppy cut just above the knee. But wait, it gets worse. The pants were worn looking and had spots of different colors of paint splattered randomly. For fifty bucks you can look like a serious urban artist taking a brief break from his studio.
And then there's this:
Yes, it really is an Asian style dragon made out of bling. There's dookie gold chains, jeweled watches, gold ecko dog tags and bad ass dragon-fu coming at you. WATCH OUT!
After we left the mall I saw several people wearing Ecko. They were wearing red t-shirts, hoodies, etc. Who the hell's wearing this stuff? Other than Brett I mean.