Friday, April 13, 2007

The Littlest Homey vs Bling Dragon

Shopping for Brett's birthday is fun.
I'd already gotten him a framed autographed picture of my colon, but Bryna and I wanted to let him know just how special he really is to us.

Macy's is right by Bryna's work and I was getting tired of the thrift store variety of awful that is our specialty. We found awful a-plenty at the old Macy's and finding it at an overpriced shop makes it even better (so long as you score it on super clearance.)

What you're looking at here is a t-shirt. The round center graphic is printed on a disc of plastic. It's holographic.

Look at it from one angle and it's a chubby cheeked little gangster guy, although he looks to me more like a gang's mascot. I think the real gangsters do whatever illicit gang type activities there doing and this fella runs back and forth between them and whatever onlooker are around, soliciting cheers and getting people to do the wave. At any rate, he appears to be cradling the city's buildings lovingly, parentally in his arms (perhaps he's a model railroad enthusiast?)

But, catch it from another angle, and VOILA, he's now holding big bundles of cash money.
I'm pretty sure real gangsters don't wear t-shirts with picture of gangsters on 'em. It's like the cheap-plastic-mask Halloween costumes we had as kids. They had to put a picture of Chewebacca on it so that it was clear you were supposed to be Chewebacca. "Look I'm a gangster, SEE, a gangster."

I don't even think the posers would be lining up to sport this monstrosity, which explains why we found it on the clearance rack. Of course even at 50% off it was STILL $14, but it IS Brett's birthday, and I do want to see him wear this, so it's on its way to LA. Happy birthday buddy.

Also at Macy's, a pair of $50 shorts, CUT OFFS! Cargo pants cut offs even. And by cut off I mean threads hanging from the sloppy cut just above the knee. But wait, it gets worse. The pants were worn looking and had spots of different colors of paint splattered randomly. For fifty bucks you can look like a serious urban artist taking a brief break from his studio.

And then there's this:
Yes, it really is an Asian style dragon made out of bling. There's dookie gold chains, jeweled watches, gold ecko dog tags and bad ass dragon-fu coming at you. WATCH OUT!

After we left the mall I saw several people wearing Ecko. They were wearing red t-shirts, hoodies, etc. Who the hell's wearing this stuff? Other than Brett I mean.


VO Goddess said...

Not sure what ECKO stands for, but I'm guessing it translates to us white folk as "expensive crap Killa, OH! " - Can't wait to see Brett work this shirt!!!!

poopy mc poopy pants said...

it doesn't stand for anything. It's Marc Ecko's (ECKO's designer/owner) last name.

You know, kinda like "Calvin Klein" is the name of the dude who started the line.

I appreciate that $50 is a lot for some people to pay for shorts. Hell, it's a lot for me to pay for shorts, but to feign amazement at the price that 'these suckers will pay for clothing' is a little silly. Indeed, you are paying a premium for the marketing and design, but to pretend that a $10 hanes t-shirt is of the same quality as a tailored $50 shirt is incorrect. yes, there are a lot of stupid designs out there. yes, people buy this bullshit. even more suprisingly, people buy fake knock-offs of this bullshit. the urban fashion movement is an incredible thing.

you can buy these sorts of clothes on the cheap at buy/sell/trade stores or dept. store outlets like nordstrom rack or marshall/ross's.

in fact, i'd recommend going to one of those stores (particularly the latter) if you want to see the REALLY awful stuff that couldn't even sell on clearance in the department store.

KLJ said...

Well I'll have to disagree with you here.

The price of clothes has gotten way out of control and a-lot of it has to do with flashing designer labels. No ECKO, CK or any of the others for me unless I find something I like on super clearance.

The shorts in question were made to look like ratty, used cut offs, of cargo pants which are lame to begin with. I don't have to feign amazement that someone would pay $50 for that. Truly strange.

I'm a sales rack shopper and a thrift store junky. And yes, you find some damn funny stuff at Ross's, indeed and funnier stuff still at the thrift stores, but looking for that rare jewel in the pig slop is fun and rewarding and I'm always stoked when I get well made clothes that I dig for a few bucks.

Have you even looked at the rest of the site? The funny stuff we find at used stores is what we're all about man. Though I will have to remember to cruise the Macy's more often.

Kevin said...

There is a 50-60 year old physics teacher at my school who went to yale who wears ecko clothing every day. To get around the dress code he wears an ecko t-shirt under a plaid button up but you can still see the horrible graphic.
He speaks almost entirely in monotone, and calls everyone by their full name.
Half of the problems he writes involve "Little Brucie" or "Little Judie (his wife)" as the people pushing things or accelerating, etc.
He also has, which I have never seen, a podium he only brings out on parents night that is COVERED in bumper stickers, many of which are glittery and/or say things like "I'm a pimp".