Click to enlarge image at your own risk.
To be honest with you I'm unclear as to whether the message “Wish you where here” is an invitation carrying homo-erotic overtones or if it alludes to our dear Keith Lowell Jensen’s desire to consume me.
As he signs off on his emails “writer comedian, zombie” I’m going to have to go with the later.
Regardless of intent there is one thing that is abundantly clear; Keith’s colon is not a place I would chose to hold a bar mitzvah. The troubling thing about this gift is finding the right place in your home to hang such a thing.
Oh sure you can take the easy way out and put it in the bathroom but to me that seems so negative, focusing only on the waste portion of the digestive system. A walk in closet, the hall, the bedroom; none of these places seemed to capture the spirit of this little beauty.
I wanted to focus on the positive aspects of the colon, to really embrace the concept that all life is made possible by this amazing organ. So as I prepared vegan sushi last night for my lovely girlfriend I did it staring squarely into the bowels of Keith.
I’m sure as you read this you are wondering "How can I get one of these for my kitchen?" Well my dear friends you are in luck. All you need to do is send us a picture of your awful stuff and cross your fingers. Our "Awful of the Month" winner will receive their very own autographed picture of Keith’s guts.
(To send us your awful, you can email us at firstname.lastname@example.org or post to the comments section at myspace.com/trulyawful. Good luck)