click crappy phone-camera images to enlarge
I had to go to Wishing Well, a party supply store here in Sacramento, to pick up some ticket stock. I was glad to have a camera phone.
The first item to grab my attention was this "Realistic Skull Fogger." It's totally true to it's claim. You can see that it looks exactly like a real fog blowing skull, yes? I mean, it looks like every evil skull with a fog producing nasal condition that I've ever seen.
As I headed upstairs I heard a women direct a customer to "The pirate section" and I realized what poor career choices I've made. My work does not have a pirate section, and that's some serious suck.
I decided to check out the various sections. In addition to pirate, there's also an Indian, wait, no, it's a Native American section. The correct labeling made me think they were going to be politically sensitive here.
The magic knife, depicting one Native American with the knife through his head and another with the knife stuck in his back let me know I was hoping too much. And what the hell does this knife have to do with Native Americans anyway? Just the first thing that came to mind when they had to come up with a good potential victim for this thing? At least it's accurately labeled, "TERRIBLE" though I'd have preferred "AWFUL."
Also of interest were the quite authentic "Peace Pipes." lovingly handcrafted out of plastic by real Indians in China. You didn't know about the Chinese Indian population? Stick with me kid. I'll learn you real good.
As you can see, each pipe ends in a small Native American head, just like the real ones.
There's no opening to put the tobacco in. Is this due to fears that kids will buy this to actually use in, um, you know, achieving peace? Oh well, the plastic fumes would probably have given 'em a better high than they deserved.
The Mexican section featured this Mexican Fiesta Pepper Bead Curtain. I think I may have stumbled into the little village where these are made, just outside of Merida if I remember correctly. My favorite thing about this is that they couldn't find an actual Mexican for the photograph? Hell, they couldn't even find a real model. They got Jimmy Kimmel's cousin in his new Chino's to walk through the curtain by holding a donut and a six pack up behind the camera.
And what section is this item from? The Biker section silly. I mean just look at the picture, that's a biker, right? Right? He's got a little biker mustache. And he is lifting his eyebrows up in what is clearly a biker's come hither expression. I see guys like this hanging out at the biker bar down the street from me all the time. And they're really nice bikers too. They let their girlfriends ride their bikes while they're at the club. I think that's whats going on. I never see their girlfriends, and I never see their bikes, so it seems to reason, yes?
My next party is going to RULE! Thanks Wishing Well.